Friday, August 26, 2011

Chattiestspike2 Youtube channel

This is just small clump of fun facts about my YouTube channel career. Career? I guess you can call it a career.. but without the money.

This is not the first channel I had on YouTube. My first channel (caninemd), in 2007, had a series called "The Kings of Awesomeness" where me and a bunch of my high school friends were doing really stupid things on camera, and these video clips were edited like a pro (by me) and put to horribly copyrighted music. They were up for about 9 months and got about 24 views each. All from me just showing other people who didn't care.

I closed down that channel out of panic because one of the videos consisted of my best friend spraying Axe body spray on his brothers head, and his brother lighting his head on fire. He showed up to school the next day with little isolated burn marks on his head and suddenly the police were involved. Long story short, nothing happened. I ended up closing down my channel for no reason.
A mirror of that video can be found here:

Later on, I watched Nigahiga's channel and got inspired to make my own YouTube channel with funny pointless silly stuff (caninemd275) in 2008. I did. It had pointless silly stupid stuff. No one watched my videos. I forgot about the channel, and then deleted it recently because for one reason or another, there were no more videos on it.

Then I started watching the evolution vs creationism debates on YouTube. All of them. Thunderf00t's videos, DonExodus2, Aronra, I saw ZOMGitscriss' channel, Laci Green, dprjones' etc. So I made chattiestspike. The original. It was a trolling channel. I was going to pretend to be a creationist. A poe. And then some events took place which got my channel terminated.

So then I made chattiestspike2. A science channel. Pure science. That was the intent. A pure science and education channel dedicated to pwning creationist arguments. I started that and it was working well for a while until I realized many other people made better videos with the same exact information I was presenting in mine. For one reason or another, I stayed around anyway. Got 1000 subscribers, then another YouTube channel (kenji something) pointed out the NephilimFree escort thing, which I made a video about, and this got me another thousand subs. I got to 3,000 and then 4,000. I'm currently working my way to 5,000.

In the mean time, I got a YouTube partnership which lasted about a month until google decided to cancel my adsense account for no apparent reason. Literally. They never gave me an explanation. I filled out the appeal form, emailed a bunch of google people, and I got nothing in return. So from that point on (about 6 months ago), I pretty much resent google and really dislike the shit company. Personally I feel like a hypocrite for disliking google so much while having a google blog, using google chrome, and I have an android phone.

In case you haven't noticed, I am doing more satire videos now. I won't be doing science videos anymore because I'm not a scientist and I don't know enough to really make new ones that haven't already been made. I'm sure a lot of my original subscribers are disappointed by my new direction, but it's what I'm doing now. I like being funny and I like making funny videos. That's why I started YouTube to begin with in 2007. Now I'm able to while having an audience.

Thank you everyone for sticking around. I'm not leaving any time soon.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Crocoduck has been found

Here's a page from Nature Magazine. (click to view)

Friday, August 19, 2011

We are Self Correcting

         One great thing about people on my team ("evolutionists"/atheists/etc.) is that we are self correcting. Throughout history, there have been a few evolutionary biologists who have made and forged fossils in order to get rich and famous. However those forgeries were disproven in due time by "evolutionists" (I'm using that term lightly). Creationists use those forgeries to support their own case that evolution is false but of course they keep forgetting that it was people on OUR team who disproved them.

          I made an experiment recently where I tried my best to photoshop a bumper sticker on my car which read "I learned everything I need to know about evolution from the holocaust" and I tried my best to act as though it was a ligitimate creationist/christian car bumper sticker. I  made a video about it. Most people believed it, as I assumed, but naturally there were a few people who spotted it as fake right away. This all happened within a 24 hour timeframe of the videos release; and my youtube channel isn't even that big. And the greatest part about that is, I'm pretty sure the people who figured out it was fake and exposed it as fake were atheists. People on MY team.

         So what does that tell you? No there is not a conspiracy of scientists pushing an agenda to make everyone believe in evolution. You've seen a peer review right before your very eyes. Even with the smallest details and most insignificant findings, like my fake finding of what a creationist supposedly said, people on my own team will pounce on that and prove it wrong. That's because we are self correcting and don't just believe things because they support our case.

(since I didn't have the means to actually forge a fossil, like I had in mind, I forged something in photoshop to make creationists sound even dumber. That bumper sticker, I think, is one thing that not even creationists would say)

here's the video

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Humans and Animals

I wrote this about two years ago but never found a place to put it. Now it has a home.


          Many people have a passive arrogance and think that we humans are better than animals or so much different than them. It's understanding of course that the people who still think inside the box will think that we are so much different from animals because we invented cars, sports, lip balm, and toilet paper. However, if you think about it, the ONLY difference between humans and animals are that humans are more advance, most of us anyway (and no, not advanced evolutionarily). It's not a unique pattern. Gorillas are more advanced than chickens. Chickens are more advanced than bacteria living in the feces of a third world economy plane passenger. "Advanced," in this respect refers to idea that a particular creature is capable of more than another. We can make a paper hat, microbes cannot.

          Now let's analyze this even more and go farther down the rabbit hole than what is necessary. Some people claim that animals don't think or don't have a consciousness. Obviously, clearly, and easily noted, this is a complete made up concept. They may not have a consciousness which is too COMPARABLE to that of a human, but it is there nevertheless. Don't believe me? Try pretending like you are going to punch a dog in the nose. He will flinch and back away OR get pissed off and attack you. If you want to blame that on "natural reflexes" then let's start calling it a natural reflex whenever we purchase a pack of gum when we think our breath is not appealing.

          They say animals don't have souls like humans do. Ok let's think about this. Who claims that we have souls anyway? What does it look like? Where is it located? Can it be removed and tampered with? Can it REALLY be sold to the devil? No one has any tangible evidence of the soul so we just assume that we have them. So, I'm in a generous mood, so I will grant this notion that we have souls. What about animals? Who says animals don't have souls? If they did, we wouldn't be able to see them just like you can't in humans. Some people claim that they can "see the soul" in the eyes of people who are scared, worried, happy, or some other emotion. Well the next time you hear that, try looking into the eyes of a puppy who has been abused and has been left starving. You will see some interesting emotions in his expression.

          This leads me to my next point- emotion. People say that animals don't have emotion. Yes they do. It varies from animal to animal (humans included in the animals). Emotions are simply more advanced natural reactions to outside stimulants. Someone burns your child at the stake, you get angry. Lets look at the animal kingdom. You just happen to wander up to a lions den and feel it would be a good idea to kick one of the lion's cubs like a football into a large hole filled with sharp rocks. The mother will get pissed off and try to bite your face off. You call it instinct? Hey guess what, emotion IS instinct. Desire, happiness, anger, sadness, envy- they are all instincts taking place far in the back of the mind.

With all this said, it is not meant to change the behaviour of humans toward animals. It is not meant to make a person think twice before strapping a pack of fireworks to the neck of an elephant. Keep in mind, humans still abuse each other. Humans are scientifically classified in the ANIMAL kingdom. They don't have their own kingdom. We are animals, perhaps maybe it's time we start acting like it?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Interview with an alien

Earthling: So tell me a little about yourself. When did you come here to Earth? And for what reason? Many people, im sure, are dying to meet you or someone like you. Can you give us a brief explaination as to who, or what, you are?.. if you don't mind me asking.

Alien: Hi. Well me and my people have always been watching earth for quite some time now. For the past 40 million years or so. Not to say that I have been around for that long. Haha. But people from my planet have been just observing the interesting behaviors or Earth. Particularly within the past 200 thousand years when you humans arrived. I'm just a trooper coming down to finally talk to one of you guys, maybe exchange some information. Anyway. As you can tell, we sort of bare the same physical resemblance, only we are more green and have antennae on our heads. You humans haven't gotten those yet.

Earthling: Ah interesting. So you are saying evolution is true? And that we will evolve into things that look like you?

Alien: Well yes. I know how that can come as a shock to a lot of you. Perhaps it's been debated a lot in your so called "churches." But it is true. Yes. And you will gradually become more and more attractive like my kind. It will be a civic standard that the greener the skin, the more attractive. Also the more broad the antennae, the more attractive.

Earthling: So what exactly do the antennae detect? Does your kind have a sixth sense?

Alien: It just adds to our sex appeal. It's attractive. Don't you think?

Earthling: .... Moving along. Does your kind have divisions within it? Does it have different races or nationalities or religions?

Alien: Absolutely. Our kind has everything ranging from Xongrozorgians to Merqiwtz and even a few surviving Turplapkrads, along with about 600 other nationalities and races. As for religioun, I don't understand what you mean.

Earthling: Like do you believe in god? Or Buddha? Do any of your kind accept Jesus Christ as your savior or something?

Alien: Um.. No. We have never heard of Jesus Christ. Besides, why would we look up to a being who is a kind of human? But it's ok. I understand it.

Earthling: And I understand it too. Another question: What is your government and economic system? Surely a civilization as advanced as yours has a better government and economic policy that any of us could have ever come up with.

Alien: We sure do. Complete organized socialized capitalistic anarchy. COSCA for short.

Earthling: Wow. Sounds intriguing. How does that work?

Alien: Well pretty much everyone does whatever they want to do whenever they want to. We don't use money anymore and there are no leaders. We hold no elections, and everyone is nice to each other. We don't lie, we don't cheat, we don't get married, and we can have as many partners as we want. Everyone just cooperates perfectly. It's to be expected. We had 10 million years of practice.

Earthling: You seem like such a nice Alien. Why doesnt your kind come to Earth more often?

Alien: Are you kidding me? You people kill each other and drop bombs on cities. You also crash your own planes into your own buildings. Your planet is always at war with itself. You people also are so scared and timid about anything abnormal, if one of our aircrafts were to actually land in a public place, your military and armed forces would destroy us within seconds.
Earthling: Well I don't think that's true.
Alien: Not true? You have "restricted air space" and anything unidentified that flies in your "restricted air space" will be shot down. Where are we supposed to fly? And more importantly, where are we supposed to land? And it's really difficult to abduct one of your people because whenever our abduction beams shine down, lots of humans can see them and they will probably attack us.
Earthling: Well you have to cut us some slack. It has been a while since any of people have legitimately seen one of your aircrafts.

Alien: No you haven't seen any of our aircrafts at all. Ever. We're not usually that dumb as to come down here to Earth anyway. This is the first time.. And you also make movies and you are always portraying us as the bad guys. That makes us uneasy too. Except for ET. But after seeing that movie, ET was ugly as sin and looks nothing like us. I don't know who came up with that idea but he was on something I'm sure.

Earthling: Well we have our imagination. Well that's about all the time we have. Is there anything else you would like to tell Earth? After all, you are much more advanced than any of us. Anything you want to say?

Alien: Yeah. Well I highly doubt that you will make it another thousand years BUT if you do, just to let you know, you should find some people to discover how to use your ocean as an energy source, you need to colonize your moon, and you need to stop killing each other. If you fail at that, it's ok. Your race will just be whiped out. We will take over and pick up where you left off.

Earthling: Thank you.

Alien: (timewarps away)


I wrote this about two years ago. Hope you enjoyed it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Dating fossils

For those of you who saw my video, and I'm sure you did, you may not be complete sure what arguments I am referring to.

Creationists have a problem with fossils being millions of years old because it conflicts with their 6,000 year old young Earth promotion Noah's Flood propaganda myth that they so famously support regardless of how much that poor dead horse has been beaten time and time again. So if they hear of a fossil that is 65 million years old, they will protest against it.

They claim that we can't know how old these fossils are because we weren't there, carbon dating isn't accurate because a) it carbon dated living snails to be 40 billion years old or b) because it assumes a constant decay rate, and this applies to every radiometric dating method, and finally, because fossils don't come with little tags on them saying how old they are.

This makes me laugh because though it's a sarcastic remark (hopefully), they make it seem like if there WAS a fossil that had a tag on it saying it was 47 million years old, that that would mean it's 47 million years old. Are you kidding me? If a tag is there saying that when you dig it up, someone put it there and that means specifically that it's NOT that old.

But I digress. I figured it would be a refreshing gesture to illustrate how stupid even creationist humor is. It's only funny... if you laugh at them. Yeah that makes sense.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bring back our primal instincts

          Since the dawn of our species, mankind has strove to rid itself of the ties between it and the animals from which we came. We deny the very primate within each one of us. We are animals at heart, in mind, and if all goes as planned, on the outside aswell. Animals hunt for survival. Every man for himself.

          Mankind is too civilized, with its governments, cars, and department stores. The time has come to bind our inner animal to the nature of the outside world.

          It is time to feed our inner desires. Our desires that have us hungering for everything. Things we want. Things we hunger. Food. Forget working for money and and buying pre established food and let's begin scavenging our back yards for squirrels and coyotes. Save the trees? We need trees now more than ever. We need to cut down our forests to get to the animals which we must hunt. We are smarter and more advanced than them, so they will without a doubt be easier to catch simply by outsmarting them. But not to go so far as to assume that we are better than animals. No no no no no. We are just at the same level as them. We are in thier pyramid. We are apart of thier organization. The "Animal Kingdom."

          We must live like them. They were here first. It's time to bring back the trend of treehouses. Human nests. We have to let our inner animal be exposed to the wonders and promises of the world not ruled my man. We have no need for money. We have no need for electricity. Deep down, we don't want it. None of us do. All we want is food, water, and opportunities to pass down our genes. Those are the three basic needs. we don't need shelter. We can live on the mountains, and rivers.

          We must hunt in packs. We must travel in packs. We must eliminate any threats. Not with guns or bombs. No. We must strap to our backs our quivers and hold our bows tightly so we can pick off the weak. And this is not limited to animals. If we travel in packs and no animals are found, we must result to the next logical means of satisfying our nutritional needs. Cannibalism. Yes thats right. The polar bears up north result to that in times of need. Why shouldn't we? Animals do it all the time. They eat each other. We are just advanced animals.. But animals nonetheless.

          So lets bring on our primitive instincts and welcome our cannabalistic desires. But let's bring down the bar further. Let's be primitive. Let's do what we were meant to do. We must not be caving in after only being on an island and starving to death next to a nice heafty man named Ruben. Im talking about casual cannibalism. CC if you want to 'modernize' it. I say we should take people out of prisons, who are on death row or in for life, and bbq them and serve them at Olive Gargen and Applebees.. places like that. Good family fun. Since restaraunts will no longer be run under management, everything will be free. Everything, everyone, and every idea will be free at a higher rate.

          So let's welcome this movement. The 21st century has much to offer and we are here, standing proud, standing tall. Together, let's drop our cell phones and pagers and pick up our spears, rocks, and tree branches as we leave technology a thing of the past. We move up in the world, not as a separate species, but as one. One with nature, one with the earth, while having no dependancies, live a prosperous, rewarding, and virtuous life from now, till the end of time.

Thank you


In all honesty, this was something I wrote about three years ago for no particular reason. Never really found the right place for it. Now I did... and now you read it. Sure it's pointless but if you want a meaning for it, think of it as a "Defaulting Nation Survival Guide." Yeah that works.

Whatever. I hope you enjoyed that wall of text.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

How come there are no transitional forms?

I made this picture a long time ago. It demonstrates what it would look like millions of years ago when all the animals were in mid evolutionary transition. ... according to creationists.

Think... crocoduck. THAT would be a transitional form right? Of course it would. Why not? So if that's what a transitional form looks like, then this is what all the others look like. Scientists are getting desperate to try to find fossils of these creatures just to prove evolution.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Evolution being a conspiracy

          Yes, my previous youtube video entitled Evolution is a Conspiracy was satire. However, if something is satire, there has to be a base at which the satire is spinning off. This would of course be the creationist's point of view. Not all of them but there is a good number of them who actually think it is a conspiracy within the scientific community to promote evolution and get people to believe evolution even though "there's no evidence."
          I've heard explanations saying that it's the New World Order promoting evolution because evolution means atheism and the New World Order wants everyone to be atheists. Somehow making the world atheists will rid the world of different political views and it would be one giant nation with one leader and that will all be because of evolution. Oh yeah, and that leader will be the antichrist.
          I seriously heard from a number of creationists (Kent Hovind, Eye2EyeIIIV etc.) that since the talking snake told Adam and Eve that they will become gods, and evolution tells us that we are evolving better [sic] all the time and we will eventually become gods [sic sic sic sic], THAT'S the reason evolution is taught. Because people read genesis, see the talking snake part, want to become gods, so they believe in evolution. Maybe I got a few of the details wrong but you get the point. And you may remember something like that from my Evolution is a Conspiracy video.
          So it just makes me wonder, why would there REALLY be a giant global conspiracy among the scientific community to promote such an idea? I can't possibly even fathom the idea of creationists being right with this. Thoughts?

Monday, August 1, 2011

Evolution is a Religion?

          Many creationists and individuals who do not accept evolution often claim it to be a religion. Evolution is a religious belief or religious dogma. I personally love when creationists say this. It's one of those frequent but exceptionally fun traps that they walk willingly full force into.
          Normally this will be either their last line of defense or their first move in a debate about creationism and evolution. Regardless, they will still often walk right into this trap and I will explain why.
          Here's a quote from the Institute for Creation Research website,

"The fact is that evolutionists believe in evolution because they WANT to. It is their desire at all costs to explain the origin of everything without a Creator. Evolutionism is thus intrinsically an atheistic religion."

          So, believing something because they want to makes it a religion. Additionally, having a desire to explain the origin of everything without a creator makes it a religion. Believing something without evidence because you want to is a religion, and since evolution has no evidence supporting it, people only believe it because they WANT to, which of course makes it a religion.
          So what does that say about their side? Are they not saying they are religious themselves? They're Christians, right? Last I checked, Christianity is a religion. So since they are Christians, and are religious, doesn't that by their own explanation mean that they are believing something without evidence just because they WANT to?
          And that, is the easy trap that they will willingly walk right into.